Shampoo Experiment - First 2 Weeks
Well I have made it through the first two weeks of using a shampoo of my own creation. I must say it has been a rather interesting. At first, I wondered if I had bitten off just a bit more than I could chew. I'll be honest, the first week I really wasn't sure because my hair had a weird sort of texture to it and I wasn't quite sure that this whole create my own shampoo thing was my best idea. However, I was determined to stick to it. Everything I have read does say there is an adjustment period as your scalp gets used to not having its natural oils stripped from it everyday. That adjustment period can be a week to as long 3, even 4, weeks from some of the articles I read.
A Few Setbacks
There have been a few errors in judgement along the way. After the first week I decided I need to get my hair cut because I had let the layers grow out only to discover that there was a reason I had them cut into my hair in the first place. (Definitely not one of my better ideas letting those layers grown out!) The people at the salon were really good about me not letting them shampoo my hair but I did let them condition it and put product on it and what a freaking disaster, if I do say so myself. By the end of the day my hair was one big oily mess!! I hated the way my hair felt.
My second error in judgement came this past Wednesday night when I decided my hair was in need of a deep conditioning treatment so I decided to use coconut oil. It took me washing my hair 3 days in a row to get that mess out of my hair completely. I have been wanting to shampoo my hair less not more so needless to say this was a few steps back in the plan. Talk about bad hair days. Thankfully my hair is long enough that I can just pull it back but still. Not a great choice. I think if you have really thick coarse hair, that method could work but it certainly is not the best choice for my hair. Next time I might try olive oil or jojoba.
A Few Tweaks
Half way through the first week it occurred to me that I probably needed to come up with a formula specific to my specific situation, oily scalp. The recipe suggested olive oil could be left out if you have oily scalp but I found I needed to add a small amount of olive oil to my shampoo because my hair was feeling a bit dry and it did help. I doubled the recipe and it lasted me roughly two weeks. I also just used herbs I had on hand. Yesterday I had to make a new batch so I was more deliberate in choosing the herbs. I chose herbs specifically for dark hair and oily hair. This blend has calendula, nettle, rosemary, lavender, horsetail, marshmallow root and burdock root. I did use this mix to shampoo my hair this morning and I have to say I am liking it much more than the first mix
I will say that I am noticing my hair changing for the better, one is that it is thicker with more body. Another is that even though it still does get oily within 24 hours, that seems to be improving as time goes on. Who knows, maybe in time I will be able to wash my hair every other day instead of every day. If anything I am happy to know what is in my shampoo and there is great satisfaction in being able to create it with my own hands.
Next blog: my thoughts on hair color and a little bit more about why I am creating my own shampoo among other things.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Saturday, September 1, 2012
The Shampoo Experiment
I don't know any female who isn't on the hunt for the perfect shampoo. They keys to a good shampoo for most of us is it has to smell good, work up a good lather and make your hair feel fabulous. The downside to shampoo is that if you read the ingredients it can often seem to be the product of a mad scientist's experiment. You kind of need a chemical textbook to understand. It can also be worrisome to think about what exactly those chemicals are and what they do to the body.
In our overly saturated chemical environment it can seem an uphill battle to avoid chemicals completely. However, you can find ways to cut down on that chemical load and making your own shampoo is one way to do just that! It is surprisingly easy to create and the benefits endless. There is an initial cost to obtaining ingredients but they are easily found at the store and online. A few ingredients and you have a shampoo that is chemical free and cheaper than what you buy in the store.
This is a link to the recipe I followed: http://mountainroseblog.com/herbal-hair-care/. Read through the comments too, I found it really helpful to read others suggestions, questions and answers. I used a combination of dried calendula flowers, dried lavender and some fresh rosemary from the bush in our backyard. I used lavender essential oil as a preservative for it's anti-bacterial properties and I had it easily on hand. Remember there are no preservatives in this so you probably don't want to make a huge batch unless you are going to add an essential oil with anti-bacterial properties or keep in the fridge.
My next blog I will go into how I my own experience is going using my homemade shampoo and other thoughts about going chemical free!
Friday, August 31, 2012
Forgiving Ourselves - Easier Said Than Done
From the WordPress Blog Musings, Rants and Raves 10/23/2011
One thing I have learned over the years is that often times our problem is not so much other people or circumstances but ourselves. Not exactly an earthshattering revelation but one that I often conveinently forget. I was reminded this morning that our perspective and emotions about ourselves set the tone for how we deal with life and that it can keep us from creating the life we want.
The situation in my life that always seems to stymie me to paralysis is my finances. Now let me just say how ironic this is. It is ironic because I am an accountant by trade. I make my living essentially reconciling bank accounts, paying the company bills, etc. So this irony isn't lost on me. It seems no matter what I do, things just don't seem to get better, if anything they either get worse or just stay the same. It is something that can keep me up at night and make me a knot of nerves and adds to my stress level. Let me just say here as a woman in perimenopause, stress is the last thing I need.
Today as I was thinking about this in the shower (I get a lot of great ideas in the shower), I had one of those lightbulb moments. I finally made a connection that I guess should be obvious but was a real revelation for me. I realized that I am so ashamed of my financial situation it makes it difficult to even look at my finances with anything close to a rational perspective. When I looked up shame in on merriam-webster.com one of the definitions hit a chord with me. It said that shame is "a painful emotion caused by the consciousness of guilt....." Wow! Knowing how damaging guilt can be, no wonder my money issues seem like a wall I just can't seem to scale. I also realized part of letting go of the shame and this mindset of guilt is forgiving myself.
We all know forgiveness is the key to moving forward in our life and yet how often we find it easier to forgive others than we do ourselves. We hold ourselves to a higher standard than other people. I know I could easily forgive someone else messing up my finances but not so much forgive myself for the same thing. There is something about this insight that makes me sad in a way. Sad because I realize how harsh I have judged myself in this area of my life. Sad because I know I would never judge another person that way. So, now I begin the work of forgiving myself, not sure exactly what that will look like. However, I do believe knowledge is power or I should say, empowerment.
What about you? Is there an area in your life where shame is blocking you from healing and wholeness? Are you ready to forgive yourself? My prayer is that you are. Life is too short to live in shame.
Namaste.
One thing I have learned over the years is that often times our problem is not so much other people or circumstances but ourselves. Not exactly an earthshattering revelation but one that I often conveinently forget. I was reminded this morning that our perspective and emotions about ourselves set the tone for how we deal with life and that it can keep us from creating the life we want.
The situation in my life that always seems to stymie me to paralysis is my finances. Now let me just say how ironic this is. It is ironic because I am an accountant by trade. I make my living essentially reconciling bank accounts, paying the company bills, etc. So this irony isn't lost on me. It seems no matter what I do, things just don't seem to get better, if anything they either get worse or just stay the same. It is something that can keep me up at night and make me a knot of nerves and adds to my stress level. Let me just say here as a woman in perimenopause, stress is the last thing I need.
Today as I was thinking about this in the shower (I get a lot of great ideas in the shower), I had one of those lightbulb moments. I finally made a connection that I guess should be obvious but was a real revelation for me. I realized that I am so ashamed of my financial situation it makes it difficult to even look at my finances with anything close to a rational perspective. When I looked up shame in on merriam-webster.com one of the definitions hit a chord with me. It said that shame is "a painful emotion caused by the consciousness of guilt....." Wow! Knowing how damaging guilt can be, no wonder my money issues seem like a wall I just can't seem to scale. I also realized part of letting go of the shame and this mindset of guilt is forgiving myself.
We all know forgiveness is the key to moving forward in our life and yet how often we find it easier to forgive others than we do ourselves. We hold ourselves to a higher standard than other people. I know I could easily forgive someone else messing up my finances but not so much forgive myself for the same thing. There is something about this insight that makes me sad in a way. Sad because I realize how harsh I have judged myself in this area of my life. Sad because I know I would never judge another person that way. So, now I begin the work of forgiving myself, not sure exactly what that will look like. However, I do believe knowledge is power or I should say, empowerment.
What about you? Is there an area in your life where shame is blocking you from healing and wholeness? Are you ready to forgive yourself? My prayer is that you are. Life is too short to live in shame.
Namaste.
An Unexpected Gift
From the WordPress Blog Musings, Rants and Raves 10/5/2011
Sometimes life takes rather interesting turns. The unexpected comes and surprises us with a gift. Such is what happened to me about a month ago. I had a chance to find out if I had really forgiven someone. Not just forgive them but invite them back into my life. Forgiveness is a beautiful thing but it isn’t always easy. My theory is that it may be less complicated to forgive someone you have no chance of seeing again because there is no risk of being hurt again. Since they are not coming back into your life, you don’t have to make the choice of letting them back in so, essentially, there is no risk. However, it is a trickier matter when they do come back into your life and you decide to let them back in.
After all, aren’t you in a very real sense risking being hurt again to let them back in?
That is the situation I found myself in about a month ago. It all started with a letter. A simple letter filled with a heartfelt apology. Now the letter didn’t request contact, in fact it stated quite clearly they had no expectation of contact. They were making the effort to make amends, no matter the outcome. So much went through my mind reading that letter, the most surprising thing was whatever anger, hurt I thought I still had was gone. I didn’t hold it against them anymore. Somewhere along the way, I had let go of the past hurt and moved forward. My heart cracked open and all I could feel was joy. My spirit felt lighter and I couldn’t grab pen and paper fast enough. In that moment, I had only vague memory of the pain but could only remember the gifts and benefits that the friendship had brought into my life.
All this isn’t to say that I didn’t have a doubt or two in the back of my mind. I didn’t make the choice to let this person back in to my life unconsciously. It is just that when measuring the pros and cons, the pros far outweighed any doubt I may have had. It was also a reminder that life is like the spiral I talked about in my previous blog. Here we are on another turn of the spiral. A new opportunity to bring all the wisdom and gifts from our previous turn on the spiral forward with the intention of creating something better, deeper and stronger than before.
Yes, there is always the risk. The risk of being hurt again, the risk of having it fall apart. In my experience though, it is only when I risk what may be dear to me, that I fully reap the rewards. Sometimes the risk pays off and sometimes it doesn’t. I think the big difference is what I have mentioned in previous blogs, awareness. I go into this with eyes wide open and with my heart wide open too. That was a state of being I had no awareness of previously. I am looking forward to see what difference it makes as I go forward on this part of the journey. Every turn on the spiral teaches a lesson, offers its own unique wisdom. The only job any of us has is to simply allow ourselves the journey.
Sometimes life takes rather interesting turns. The unexpected comes and surprises us with a gift. Such is what happened to me about a month ago. I had a chance to find out if I had really forgiven someone. Not just forgive them but invite them back into my life. Forgiveness is a beautiful thing but it isn’t always easy. My theory is that it may be less complicated to forgive someone you have no chance of seeing again because there is no risk of being hurt again. Since they are not coming back into your life, you don’t have to make the choice of letting them back in so, essentially, there is no risk. However, it is a trickier matter when they do come back into your life and you decide to let them back in.
After all, aren’t you in a very real sense risking being hurt again to let them back in?
That is the situation I found myself in about a month ago. It all started with a letter. A simple letter filled with a heartfelt apology. Now the letter didn’t request contact, in fact it stated quite clearly they had no expectation of contact. They were making the effort to make amends, no matter the outcome. So much went through my mind reading that letter, the most surprising thing was whatever anger, hurt I thought I still had was gone. I didn’t hold it against them anymore. Somewhere along the way, I had let go of the past hurt and moved forward. My heart cracked open and all I could feel was joy. My spirit felt lighter and I couldn’t grab pen and paper fast enough. In that moment, I had only vague memory of the pain but could only remember the gifts and benefits that the friendship had brought into my life.
All this isn’t to say that I didn’t have a doubt or two in the back of my mind. I didn’t make the choice to let this person back in to my life unconsciously. It is just that when measuring the pros and cons, the pros far outweighed any doubt I may have had. It was also a reminder that life is like the spiral I talked about in my previous blog. Here we are on another turn of the spiral. A new opportunity to bring all the wisdom and gifts from our previous turn on the spiral forward with the intention of creating something better, deeper and stronger than before.
Yes, there is always the risk. The risk of being hurt again, the risk of having it fall apart. In my experience though, it is only when I risk what may be dear to me, that I fully reap the rewards. Sometimes the risk pays off and sometimes it doesn’t. I think the big difference is what I have mentioned in previous blogs, awareness. I go into this with eyes wide open and with my heart wide open too. That was a state of being I had no awareness of previously. I am looking forward to see what difference it makes as I go forward on this part of the journey. Every turn on the spiral teaches a lesson, offers its own unique wisdom. The only job any of us has is to simply allow ourselves the journey.
Life is a Spiral Not a Straight Line, Part 2
From the WordPress Blog Musings, Rants and Raves 6/27/2011
To summarize where we left off, I wrote about how the image of the spiral gave me a whole new perspective on where I found myself in my life and a perspective on the past. A sense of relief that there was a purpose to why I felt drawn back to a spiritual tradition that often time left me feeling frustrated and confused. The image of the spiral shows me that there is no such thing as moving backwards, you can only move along the spiral in cyclical motion.
A spiral is circular but the circles are cyclical in nature. In a spiral you never repeat a circle, you simply wind up at the same point but in a new circle that is connected to all the others. The cycles continue to turn. They don't ever disconnect form each other. The spiral continues to move in circular motion.
When life is like a spiral, what may seem like a repeat of a past mistake is really a new cycle, a new opportunity. In this new cycle, you bring with you all the experiences and lessons of the previous cycles. All that wisdom is available to you if you choose to use it. Let me explain it in this way, anytime we come across what we may perceive as a repeat of a past mistake, it is a new opportunity to experience that event in a new way. We can choose to do what we did last time or we can choose to do something new, something different. We always have a choice.
In our humanness we often perceive things in a more linear way. We forget that there is a much bigger picture that we fit into. The spiral teaches us that there is something much deeper and larger at work. We are in constant motion, we move around the spiral that is our life. The events that seemingly repeat are the opportunity to put into practice all that we learn along the way. We can let go of the perception of the past, the perception of making mistakes and embrace the ability to choose how we experience the current cycle we find ourselves in. We can do this because we know that no matter what happens we will always have the opportunity to do things differently at another point along the spiral.
So in this cycle where I find myself drawn back to a place I thought I left behind. I realize that I never really left it behind. I brought the wisdom from the previous cycles with me that I can now use however I choose, I can do that experience the same way I did before, if that is my choice. There is no shame in going through an experience over and over if we consciously choose to. For we never really repeat the experience in the same way even though that may be our perception. However, I can also choose to form a new experience using the lessons from the past, knowing that the cycle of the spiral will bring me back to this point in the future providing yet another opportunity to create my life.
So the next time you feel like you are repeating a past experience, pause for a moment and call up the image of the spiral. What are you choosing? What do you feel called to do? Whether to "repeat" the experience or go through it in a different way is not so much the issue, only do so consciously, with awareness. Knowing that whatever your choice, you will have the opportunity again in another cycle on the wheel.
Namaste
To summarize where we left off, I wrote about how the image of the spiral gave me a whole new perspective on where I found myself in my life and a perspective on the past. A sense of relief that there was a purpose to why I felt drawn back to a spiritual tradition that often time left me feeling frustrated and confused. The image of the spiral shows me that there is no such thing as moving backwards, you can only move along the spiral in cyclical motion.
A spiral is circular but the circles are cyclical in nature. In a spiral you never repeat a circle, you simply wind up at the same point but in a new circle that is connected to all the others. The cycles continue to turn. They don't ever disconnect form each other. The spiral continues to move in circular motion.
When life is like a spiral, what may seem like a repeat of a past mistake is really a new cycle, a new opportunity. In this new cycle, you bring with you all the experiences and lessons of the previous cycles. All that wisdom is available to you if you choose to use it. Let me explain it in this way, anytime we come across what we may perceive as a repeat of a past mistake, it is a new opportunity to experience that event in a new way. We can choose to do what we did last time or we can choose to do something new, something different. We always have a choice.
In our humanness we often perceive things in a more linear way. We forget that there is a much bigger picture that we fit into. The spiral teaches us that there is something much deeper and larger at work. We are in constant motion, we move around the spiral that is our life. The events that seemingly repeat are the opportunity to put into practice all that we learn along the way. We can let go of the perception of the past, the perception of making mistakes and embrace the ability to choose how we experience the current cycle we find ourselves in. We can do this because we know that no matter what happens we will always have the opportunity to do things differently at another point along the spiral.
So in this cycle where I find myself drawn back to a place I thought I left behind. I realize that I never really left it behind. I brought the wisdom from the previous cycles with me that I can now use however I choose, I can do that experience the same way I did before, if that is my choice. There is no shame in going through an experience over and over if we consciously choose to. For we never really repeat the experience in the same way even though that may be our perception. However, I can also choose to form a new experience using the lessons from the past, knowing that the cycle of the spiral will bring me back to this point in the future providing yet another opportunity to create my life.
So the next time you feel like you are repeating a past experience, pause for a moment and call up the image of the spiral. What are you choosing? What do you feel called to do? Whether to "repeat" the experience or go through it in a different way is not so much the issue, only do so consciously, with awareness. Knowing that whatever your choice, you will have the opportunity again in another cycle on the wheel.
Namaste
Life Is a Spiral, Not a Straight Line, Part 1
From the WordPress Blog Musings, Rants and Raves 6/23/2011
I am not the most prolific blogger, in case you couldn’t tell. As usual, life has a way to getting in the way of good intentions. I have been pondering this idea of life being a spiral for a while now. Like most ideas for my blogs, this thought really came to me as a bit of an epiphany. It’s like you are out mowing the lawn one day and get this fantastic insight into achieving world peace or something. Ok, my blog is not going to bring about world peace, but if it does bring a bit of peace to your own soul or at least give you some food for thought, I think that makes the effort to blog worth it.
It wasn’t long ago that I was feeling frustrated and angry at myself. My sense, at the time, was that I was repeating an old pattern. As I have said in one of my previous blogs, I come from a very traditional religious background. Back in 2008 I had a massive paradigm shift. I was sitting in church one day when a voice in my head (loudly) said, “I can’t do this anymore.” I left the church with no real plans to return. Let me just be clear, I left church but not God. If anything, leaving church made me more determined in defining what “God” is for me and how it fits into the big picture of my life. The fact of the matter is I have done this many times before. Throughout my late teens into my adult years there was this underlying sense that I was missing something, there was some thing out there that I needed to find that would make my life make sense. I would get a break from it for awhile, throw myself into church but then I would feel this restlessness take hold.
I would drift away from church, then come back months or years later. I would follow this pattern over and over. Each time I would come back and think if I just tried harder, had a bit more faith, this thing that drove me in and out of church would go away but it never really did. This last time felt different though. I honestly never pictured myself going back. Going back would be a step back not forward. Imagine my surprise a few months ago when that old sense of restlessness took hold and I found myself being drawn back to church. It felt overwhelming, like a wave that I was drowning in. I missed the people, the sense of community, I missed the “culture” of church, I missed the music, the bible study, all of it. Even though it often left me feeling empty and frustrated, there was a longing for it. I was not happy about it. I was taking a step backwards. How did I get here? Why was this happening? On a lovely Saturday morning as I was mowing the lawn, I had what is properly known as the light bulb moment.
At that moment I saw an image of a spiral. In that moment, I realized that I could not take a step back even if I wanted to. I could not take a step back because there was nothing to step back to. I was walking the spiral and each ring of the spiral simply meant a new cycle. I could literally feel my energy shift and for the first time in weeks, I could take a deep breath. In those few moments in my backyard, the image of the spiral changed my whole perspective about my past and the future. I also realized that there are not “mistakes” in life, only opportunities.
Yes, I am leaving you hanging and I apologize about that, but this is a blog not an online novel. That and I do actually have a day job. I am pretty sure blogging does not qualify as a reason to ask for a day off.
I will post part 2 tomorrow night so until then my friends.
Namaste
I am not the most prolific blogger, in case you couldn’t tell. As usual, life has a way to getting in the way of good intentions. I have been pondering this idea of life being a spiral for a while now. Like most ideas for my blogs, this thought really came to me as a bit of an epiphany. It’s like you are out mowing the lawn one day and get this fantastic insight into achieving world peace or something. Ok, my blog is not going to bring about world peace, but if it does bring a bit of peace to your own soul or at least give you some food for thought, I think that makes the effort to blog worth it.
It wasn’t long ago that I was feeling frustrated and angry at myself. My sense, at the time, was that I was repeating an old pattern. As I have said in one of my previous blogs, I come from a very traditional religious background. Back in 2008 I had a massive paradigm shift. I was sitting in church one day when a voice in my head (loudly) said, “I can’t do this anymore.” I left the church with no real plans to return. Let me just be clear, I left church but not God. If anything, leaving church made me more determined in defining what “God” is for me and how it fits into the big picture of my life. The fact of the matter is I have done this many times before. Throughout my late teens into my adult years there was this underlying sense that I was missing something, there was some thing out there that I needed to find that would make my life make sense. I would get a break from it for awhile, throw myself into church but then I would feel this restlessness take hold.
I would drift away from church, then come back months or years later. I would follow this pattern over and over. Each time I would come back and think if I just tried harder, had a bit more faith, this thing that drove me in and out of church would go away but it never really did. This last time felt different though. I honestly never pictured myself going back. Going back would be a step back not forward. Imagine my surprise a few months ago when that old sense of restlessness took hold and I found myself being drawn back to church. It felt overwhelming, like a wave that I was drowning in. I missed the people, the sense of community, I missed the “culture” of church, I missed the music, the bible study, all of it. Even though it often left me feeling empty and frustrated, there was a longing for it. I was not happy about it. I was taking a step backwards. How did I get here? Why was this happening? On a lovely Saturday morning as I was mowing the lawn, I had what is properly known as the light bulb moment.
At that moment I saw an image of a spiral. In that moment, I realized that I could not take a step back even if I wanted to. I could not take a step back because there was nothing to step back to. I was walking the spiral and each ring of the spiral simply meant a new cycle. I could literally feel my energy shift and for the first time in weeks, I could take a deep breath. In those few moments in my backyard, the image of the spiral changed my whole perspective about my past and the future. I also realized that there are not “mistakes” in life, only opportunities.
Yes, I am leaving you hanging and I apologize about that, but this is a blog not an online novel. That and I do actually have a day job. I am pretty sure blogging does not qualify as a reason to ask for a day off.
I will post part 2 tomorrow night so until then my friends.
Namaste
We Always Have A Choice
From the WordPress Blog Musings, Rants and Raves 3/11/2011
As
human beings we have the potential to disentangle ourselves from old
habits, and the potential to love and care about each other. We have the
capacity to wake up and live consciously, but, you may have noticed, we
also have a strong inclination to stay asleep. It's as if we are always
at a crossroad, continuously choosing which way to go. Moment by moment
we can choose to go toward further clarity and happiness or toward
confusion and pain...
Taking
the leap involves making a commitment to ourselves and to the earth
itself--making a commitment to let go of old grudges, to not avoid
people and situations and emotions that make us feel uneasy, to not
cling to our fears, our closedmindedness, our hardheartedness, our
hesitation. Now is the time to develop trust in our basic goodness and
the basic goodness of our sisters and brothers on this earth; a time to
develop confidence in our ability to drop our old ways of staying stuck
and to choose wisely. We could do that right here and right now.
- Pema Chodron, "Taking the Leap"
The
above quote found its way to me through a newsletter I received in my
inbox this morning. It was a good reminder for me because I have found
myself slipping into that whole "victim" mentality that says we have no
control over our circumstance, our thoughts, our emotions. Deep down
most of us know this is not true, we always have a choice.
We
can choose to see the events in our lives as an experience to be
learned from even when it involves great physical or emotional pain. The
lesson sometimes takes to time to unfold and the wisdom time to take
hold but we do find our way there eventually. We can also choose the
opposite of that and see things as random occurances with little to no
meaning for us, keeping ourselves in the mode of victim. Victim of
ourselves or a vengeful random "other" out there wanting to mess with us
and we cower in our literal and psychological corner reacting rather
than living.
At
this moment I am grateful for the timely reminder that there is a
better way than cowering in a corner. A better way to be, with arms
open, breathing in deep the experience we call life. I know I have some
inner work to do in order to walk that better way, how about you? How
will you choose to view the events that take place in your life?
Resolution on New Year's Resolutions
From the WordPress Blog Musings, Rants and Raves 1/2/2011
Here I am on my rather sporadic blog. I think I finally accept the fact that I set up to many high expectations and obligations for myself which is why I am writing today. It is a 2011!! Wow! Do you have your resolution lists written yet?
Yes, my topic is on New Year’s resolutions. That perennial exercise we all seem to do at the end/beginning of every year. Let me suggest something rather revolutionary in our goal oriented society. How about if you scrap the list for just this once? What would happen if you simply allowed the year to unfold before you? What if the only “resolution” you set was the intention to allow yourself to experience the year in each moment that unfolds before you?
I have nothing against goals and yes it helps to set a blueprint in order to accomplish certain things. However, our society is not exactly based on a balanced, harmonious approach to life. We are a society of extremes. If "a little is a good then a lot must be better" seems to be the overriding mantra of our society. So we create these laundry list of things that must be accomplished within a 365 day period. Our sense of value and worth seems to rely on tick marks next to a line item on a sheet of paper (or word document, excel spreadsheet, etc.)
Well, I have decided to step off that merry-go-round and instead set the intention to find the joy and magic in each moment. 2011 is a blank slate, and instead of already filling it in with goals and activities that need to be accomplished, the only thing I want to see on each day of the calendar is joy and magic. I rather like the idea of allowing the year to be an unknown quantity and seeing how joy and magic turn up. How about you?
Here I am on my rather sporadic blog. I think I finally accept the fact that I set up to many high expectations and obligations for myself which is why I am writing today. It is a 2011!! Wow! Do you have your resolution lists written yet?
Yes, my topic is on New Year’s resolutions. That perennial exercise we all seem to do at the end/beginning of every year. Let me suggest something rather revolutionary in our goal oriented society. How about if you scrap the list for just this once? What would happen if you simply allowed the year to unfold before you? What if the only “resolution” you set was the intention to allow yourself to experience the year in each moment that unfolds before you?
I have nothing against goals and yes it helps to set a blueprint in order to accomplish certain things. However, our society is not exactly based on a balanced, harmonious approach to life. We are a society of extremes. If "a little is a good then a lot must be better" seems to be the overriding mantra of our society. So we create these laundry list of things that must be accomplished within a 365 day period. Our sense of value and worth seems to rely on tick marks next to a line item on a sheet of paper (or word document, excel spreadsheet, etc.)
Well, I have decided to step off that merry-go-round and instead set the intention to find the joy and magic in each moment. 2011 is a blank slate, and instead of already filling it in with goals and activities that need to be accomplished, the only thing I want to see on each day of the calendar is joy and magic. I rather like the idea of allowing the year to be an unknown quantity and seeing how joy and magic turn up. How about you?
Long Time, No Blog
From the WordPress Blog Musings, Rants and Raves 9/7/2010
Long time, no blog! (No rolling the eyes please…) No, you are not seeing things, promise. No world, physical or otherwise, has frozen over. The last time I looked, no animals have unexpectedly sprouted wings to fly over the horizon. I am here with a new blog!
It was never my intention to let things go so long, but as the popular saying goes: Life is what happens when you are making other plans!! I could go on with a long list of things that have taken place over the last several months. It started with getting sick for over a month back in late March, early April. Suffice it to say that I have learned that my body has a wisdom all its own and if I would just listen to it, I would have a much easier time of it. Just let me say that when the body tells you to go to the doctor, there are to things to keep in mind: one, if you get a message to voluntarily go to the doctor, you really do need to go and two, get out the door and go already!!
The whole "listen to my body" thing used to fill me with dread but I think that is because it wasn't really the body talking but the ego. C'mon, would your body really tell you that it really is ok to eat a few cream filled donuts for breakfast on a regular basis? I don't think so. Funny thing is, as I work to clear and heal by baggage, it becomes easier to tell what is really guiding me. It is my choice to decide if I follow that guidance.
Having said that, I find it interesting that it is much easier to listen to that negative, ego side than to listen to the higher divine voice. I often wonder why it is we seem to be so enamored of the less than divine. Perhaps it is due to the more traditional religious view that we are depraved, immoral creatures, unworthy of divine favor. Or, is it just that it is easier to go along with that voice that says we are "less than" instead of digging deeper and realizing that being peaceful, happy and/or joyful is not something to be afraid of? I don't have an answer but I do know that over the last several months I have found the value in asking the question.
Namaste Friends!
Long time, no blog! (No rolling the eyes please…) No, you are not seeing things, promise. No world, physical or otherwise, has frozen over. The last time I looked, no animals have unexpectedly sprouted wings to fly over the horizon. I am here with a new blog!
It was never my intention to let things go so long, but as the popular saying goes: Life is what happens when you are making other plans!! I could go on with a long list of things that have taken place over the last several months. It started with getting sick for over a month back in late March, early April. Suffice it to say that I have learned that my body has a wisdom all its own and if I would just listen to it, I would have a much easier time of it. Just let me say that when the body tells you to go to the doctor, there are to things to keep in mind: one, if you get a message to voluntarily go to the doctor, you really do need to go and two, get out the door and go already!!
The whole "listen to my body" thing used to fill me with dread but I think that is because it wasn't really the body talking but the ego. C'mon, would your body really tell you that it really is ok to eat a few cream filled donuts for breakfast on a regular basis? I don't think so. Funny thing is, as I work to clear and heal by baggage, it becomes easier to tell what is really guiding me. It is my choice to decide if I follow that guidance.
Having said that, I find it interesting that it is much easier to listen to that negative, ego side than to listen to the higher divine voice. I often wonder why it is we seem to be so enamored of the less than divine. Perhaps it is due to the more traditional religious view that we are depraved, immoral creatures, unworthy of divine favor. Or, is it just that it is easier to go along with that voice that says we are "less than" instead of digging deeper and realizing that being peaceful, happy and/or joyful is not something to be afraid of? I don't have an answer but I do know that over the last several months I have found the value in asking the question.
Namaste Friends!
Lessons from the Great Lent Experiment
From the WordPress Blog Musings, Rants & Raves 3/22/2010
As many of you know I decided to celebrate lent this year by giving up coffee and sodas for Lent. I christened my adventure The Great Lent Experiment because I felt like it really was an experiment, only I was the subject and the lab rat! Well, I learned a few things from this little foray into giving up some things I really enjoyed and found a few gifts along the way:
Gift #1: It is possible to survive life without a vanilla double shot latte most mornings.
Gift #2: Pizza tastes just as good without a soda.
Gift #3: Not having to buy lattes or sodas saves me money to buy e-books for my Nook. (my Nook, a subject for another blog!)
Seriously, though, I have gained some insights into my own head that have been interesting to say the least. It also gave me some food for thought about my life overall. The further into this I have gotten I began thinking what the difference is between a habit and an addiction. When I looked up the definitions, it was a surprise to me to find there is a very fine line between the two:
habit: a behavior pattern acquired by frequent repetition or physiologic exposure that shows itself in regularity or increased facility of performance; an acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary.
addiction: compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance; persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful.
I guess this fascinates me because what I thought would happen is that I would not go a day without a latte. However, what I discovered is that I did not miss coffee all that much. In fact, I did not coffee miss it at all. As I thought back, I realized that often times I would stop for a latte and not really want one but get one anyway. I realized that I would buy one without thinking too much about it. I know I will drink a latte again but I also know that I will never go back to being a mindless robot about it.
On the other hand, I had a craving for a soda almost from the first moment I decided to give them up. Which is interesting because soda was not something I drank everyday. I did last about 3 weeks before I gave in and had a soda. Even when I go days and not drink one there is still a part of me that feels the desire for one. The desire has never gone away, I just ignore it most of the time. I did make the choice to drink a soda earlier this week but I refuse to drink them again regularly. I am finding with the soda, I have to be more conscious, more aware. I have to choose carefully when I have one, I have to choose with awareness.
The common denominator here is awareness, in order to avoid a habit there has to awareness to avoid the same pattern. In order to not be constantly giving in to an almost compulsive desire, you have to be aware. I have started thinking about my life and wondering what other areas am I operating in an unconscious way, just doing things from routine, without much thought? Areas where I am doing things out of compulsion without thinking? How can I bring a level of awareness to those areas as I have had do with drinking sodas and coffee? I guess the next question is, does it a make a difference, this level of awareness? I say yes, it does, it makes all the difference in the world. It is the difference between being a passive bystander in your own life and taking responsibility for it. In other words, I always have a choice!
If this had happened two years ago, I would not have lasted a day, probably not even an hour. To be honest, this idea of giving something up for time would have been too scary to me, I would not have even attempted it. I have been encouraged by this little experiment of mine. It shows me there has been progress, I feel empowered, more aware of my body, my thoughts and how they can work together. Don’t get me wrong, I have a ways to go here but I feel like I have learned something that goes beyond just coffee and soda. Something that I always intellectually understood but now is very real to me, possibly, the greatest gift of all: I am now an active participant in my own life.
Go figure, who could have known a little thing like giving up coffee and soda could lead to such a shift in perspective? To think all I wanted was try and not drink so much coffee, soda was just sort of an after thought. It just goes to show that sometimes the small things in life are our greatest teachers.
Namaste :-)
As many of you know I decided to celebrate lent this year by giving up coffee and sodas for Lent. I christened my adventure The Great Lent Experiment because I felt like it really was an experiment, only I was the subject and the lab rat! Well, I learned a few things from this little foray into giving up some things I really enjoyed and found a few gifts along the way:
Gift #1: It is possible to survive life without a vanilla double shot latte most mornings.
Gift #2: Pizza tastes just as good without a soda.
Gift #3: Not having to buy lattes or sodas saves me money to buy e-books for my Nook. (my Nook, a subject for another blog!)
Seriously, though, I have gained some insights into my own head that have been interesting to say the least. It also gave me some food for thought about my life overall. The further into this I have gotten I began thinking what the difference is between a habit and an addiction. When I looked up the definitions, it was a surprise to me to find there is a very fine line between the two:
habit: a behavior pattern acquired by frequent repetition or physiologic exposure that shows itself in regularity or increased facility of performance; an acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary.
addiction: compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance; persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful.
I guess this fascinates me because what I thought would happen is that I would not go a day without a latte. However, what I discovered is that I did not miss coffee all that much. In fact, I did not coffee miss it at all. As I thought back, I realized that often times I would stop for a latte and not really want one but get one anyway. I realized that I would buy one without thinking too much about it. I know I will drink a latte again but I also know that I will never go back to being a mindless robot about it.
On the other hand, I had a craving for a soda almost from the first moment I decided to give them up. Which is interesting because soda was not something I drank everyday. I did last about 3 weeks before I gave in and had a soda. Even when I go days and not drink one there is still a part of me that feels the desire for one. The desire has never gone away, I just ignore it most of the time. I did make the choice to drink a soda earlier this week but I refuse to drink them again regularly. I am finding with the soda, I have to be more conscious, more aware. I have to choose carefully when I have one, I have to choose with awareness.
The common denominator here is awareness, in order to avoid a habit there has to awareness to avoid the same pattern. In order to not be constantly giving in to an almost compulsive desire, you have to be aware. I have started thinking about my life and wondering what other areas am I operating in an unconscious way, just doing things from routine, without much thought? Areas where I am doing things out of compulsion without thinking? How can I bring a level of awareness to those areas as I have had do with drinking sodas and coffee? I guess the next question is, does it a make a difference, this level of awareness? I say yes, it does, it makes all the difference in the world. It is the difference between being a passive bystander in your own life and taking responsibility for it. In other words, I always have a choice!
If this had happened two years ago, I would not have lasted a day, probably not even an hour. To be honest, this idea of giving something up for time would have been too scary to me, I would not have even attempted it. I have been encouraged by this little experiment of mine. It shows me there has been progress, I feel empowered, more aware of my body, my thoughts and how they can work together. Don’t get me wrong, I have a ways to go here but I feel like I have learned something that goes beyond just coffee and soda. Something that I always intellectually understood but now is very real to me, possibly, the greatest gift of all: I am now an active participant in my own life.
Go figure, who could have known a little thing like giving up coffee and soda could lead to such a shift in perspective? To think all I wanted was try and not drink so much coffee, soda was just sort of an after thought. It just goes to show that sometimes the small things in life are our greatest teachers.
Namaste :-)
Coming Out of the Spiritual Closet
From Word Press Blog Musings, Rants & Raves 3/4/10
You ever have one of those mornings where you get out of bed, something quickly goes wrong and you wonder why you bothered to get out of bed, didn't just throw the covers back over yourself and sleep all day?
That is how I can best describe coming out of the spiritual closet. Going against the grain spiritually, even in our more liberal times, is a bumpy ride. Our society speaks of tolerance and acceptance, yet unspoken are the conditions under which that tolerance and acceptance is given. I am outside the box of what could be considered "traditional" religion. I have been very cautious about sharing because of my own fears about what would happen if I did. Facing the value judgements of others and having to convince them of why I am quite ok with where I am at. Then it occurred to me that it isn't really my responsibility to convince anyone of anything. That insight freed me to begin sharing more openly about my journey. Starting the blog was the beginning of that process. My next step was bit more bold. (At least for me)
Last week, I took what is for me a very bold step: I edited my Facebook profile. Now at this point I suppose you are wondering what the big to-do is about changing a Facebook profile and may be tempted to stop reading right here. However, I want to challenge you to keep reading. I promise I am going somewhere with this. Albeit, probably not in the most direct route so just hang in there.
A few weekends ago I added my blog link to my Facebook profile. Prior to posting the link I would send a private message to a few select friends, letting them know the blog was up and ready. Putting the link on my profile was a huge step for me, it was putting myself out there in a way I had not done previously. This blog is more than just a place where I try to come up with some clever topic every week. I am sharing a part of myself that would probably remain uncovered if not for the blog. Putting the link on Facebook may seem a small thing but it is giving people a link to me, an invitation to step into my world and that is sometimes a scary thing.
Then one night last week something came over me, a moment of courage (or craziness, it's all a matter of perspective), I went for broke. I updated my profile in Facebook and edited the whole darn thing! Now on the surface what I added is inconsequential. Really, when you look at, it just words. However, those words to describe what I am exploring, what I find interesting, open a door. The door opens and allows me to breathe, to quit hiding away a part of myself that I have kept hidden, to finally be myself. On the other hand, opening the door also means being vulnerable. Vulnerable to what others think about you, what you are doing, judging whether it has value. The door works both ways, it can heal and it can hurt. I am the one who has to chose which it will be.
I am choosing that it will be an invitation. An invitation to be myself, my true self. Not the masks that I show to the world, but really me. It would be easier to go back to the more traditional path I was on but it wouldn't be honest. I would be putting a mask back on that never really fit right in the first place. I felt like fraud then and I refuse to go back to that. Some may think I am lost, some may think I have just lost my mind but I assure you I am neither lost, nor insane. For the first time I am being............me.
Namaste
You ever have one of those mornings where you get out of bed, something quickly goes wrong and you wonder why you bothered to get out of bed, didn't just throw the covers back over yourself and sleep all day?
That is how I can best describe coming out of the spiritual closet. Going against the grain spiritually, even in our more liberal times, is a bumpy ride. Our society speaks of tolerance and acceptance, yet unspoken are the conditions under which that tolerance and acceptance is given. I am outside the box of what could be considered "traditional" religion. I have been very cautious about sharing because of my own fears about what would happen if I did. Facing the value judgements of others and having to convince them of why I am quite ok with where I am at. Then it occurred to me that it isn't really my responsibility to convince anyone of anything. That insight freed me to begin sharing more openly about my journey. Starting the blog was the beginning of that process. My next step was bit more bold. (At least for me)
Last week, I took what is for me a very bold step: I edited my Facebook profile. Now at this point I suppose you are wondering what the big to-do is about changing a Facebook profile and may be tempted to stop reading right here. However, I want to challenge you to keep reading. I promise I am going somewhere with this. Albeit, probably not in the most direct route so just hang in there.
A few weekends ago I added my blog link to my Facebook profile. Prior to posting the link I would send a private message to a few select friends, letting them know the blog was up and ready. Putting the link on my profile was a huge step for me, it was putting myself out there in a way I had not done previously. This blog is more than just a place where I try to come up with some clever topic every week. I am sharing a part of myself that would probably remain uncovered if not for the blog. Putting the link on Facebook may seem a small thing but it is giving people a link to me, an invitation to step into my world and that is sometimes a scary thing.
Then one night last week something came over me, a moment of courage (or craziness, it's all a matter of perspective), I went for broke. I updated my profile in Facebook and edited the whole darn thing! Now on the surface what I added is inconsequential. Really, when you look at, it just words. However, those words to describe what I am exploring, what I find interesting, open a door. The door opens and allows me to breathe, to quit hiding away a part of myself that I have kept hidden, to finally be myself. On the other hand, opening the door also means being vulnerable. Vulnerable to what others think about you, what you are doing, judging whether it has value. The door works both ways, it can heal and it can hurt. I am the one who has to chose which it will be.
I am choosing that it will be an invitation. An invitation to be myself, my true self. Not the masks that I show to the world, but really me. It would be easier to go back to the more traditional path I was on but it wouldn't be honest. I would be putting a mask back on that never really fit right in the first place. I felt like fraud then and I refuse to go back to that. Some may think I am lost, some may think I have just lost my mind but I assure you I am neither lost, nor insane. For the first time I am being............me.
Namaste
The Weekly Round Up
From Word Press Blog Musings, Rants & Raves 2/21/2010
Well I was going to give another installment continuing on with what I began last week but events of the week have changed my course as they often do.
Let's see there is my ongoing angst about giving money to panhandlers, my decision to celebrate lent by giving up soda and coffee, in addition to my realization that I did have an abundance of money to get an oil change done on my car. Now maybe these issues have nothing to do with anything but I think in some ways they are all marks of some sort of spiritual growth.
The Panhandler
My route home from work takes me under an overpass and at the end of the over pass is a stop sign and a place where the homeless panhandle for money. Sometimes months go by and no one is there and other times, there are varying groups or individuals there every day for weeks. Lately there has been this older guy with a bike. His little sign says he is a homeless veteran.
Now I have given money to panhandlers in the past. I work downtown and sometimes there is one (or several) on every street you walk. There is one street that is especially busy because it is a major high traffic area. There have been times I have been moved to give. Usually I do what everyone else does, just ignore when they ask. Some are more aggressive than others and sometimes you just give out of fear. Unfortunately, there have been people who have been hurt when they have said no to a homeless person asking for money. One time an elderly homeless guy asked for change. I had a change purse bursting at the seams so I just pulled out my change purse and emptied it in his hand. He was pleasantly surprised and I got rid of extra weight in my bag, a win-win for us both!
I am troubled though because I wonder if I am really helping them out or I am just enabling a person to continue down an already bleak path. Sometimes I wonder if I am working against some greater work if I give money and I wonder the same thing if I don't. I consider myself a somewhat compassionate, caring person so this whole issue does trouble me deeply at times.
It occurred to me today as I was out and about that maybe I need to re-frame my thoughts about this issue. Maybe I don't have to worry about if I am helping them at all or if I am part of a greater work of the universe. In other words, forget the big picture and just focus on the moment. Maybe in just that moment of giving money to a homeless man, it can be a meditation to remember that whatever wrapping we come in we are all on a journey and in the end we all wind up returning to where we came from. Maybe I can view it as a moment of mindfulness in an otherwise routine day. A reminder that we are all expressions of the Divine. After all it really isn't about the money, as I will explain later. I am coming to realize I have plenty of money.
The Great Lent Experiment
I was raised Catholic. My mother was and is a devoted Catholic. Fortunately, she never forced me to follow her into the faith and in my later teenage years I become a born again Christian. For many years I didn't really think about things like Lent. Most Evangelical Christians don't celebrate lent but in the last several years that is changing to varying degrees. Several years ago, I felt moved to attend an Ash Wednesday service and I enjoyed it so much, I began trying in small ways to observe this season. Some years I do very little and other years a lot. This year is one of my big ones.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with Lent, let me give you the basics. Lent begins with Ash Wednesday and lasts until Easter. Giving up something for lent is seen as a way of identifying with the sufferings of Christ, I guess you could say that it is a sort of active meditation. On Easter Sunday you can then go back to doing whatever it is you gave up. Simple enough unless what you decide to give up is something you really enjoy.
So this year, I had not really planned on doing anything, but on the spur of the moment I decided to do something I had been entertaining for awhile now. I decided to give up coffee and soda for lent. Yes my friends, I am walking away from my Vanilla Lattes and Diet Pepsi in the intention of giving them up for good. However, I am just focused on lent. Lent is 40 days and most of us can do something for at least 40 days. Right?...Hopefully?....Maybe??
I think there is very powerful spiritual energy related to lent. After all it is a season of reflection and hope for renewal so why not use that energy to help myself give up two things that I need to cut back on at the very least. I will never say that I will never ever have another soda or drink another coffee. However, I do not want to go back to drinking them as regularly as I did. Oddly enough, I miss the soda more than the coffee which is a bit of a surprise. The Great Lent Experiment continues, I don't think it has been a week yet so I will have to keep you posted on the progress.
On a side note, I am drinking more tea and so I went to Hina's Tea here in downtown Sacramento and asked about a tea for those transitioning from coffee. The owner was there and recommended a tea, as soon as I try it I will let you know how I like it. If you like tea please give Hina's a bit of your business. Independent business owners need all the help they can get. They have a fan page on Facebook and a website. Check them out.
Money & Perspective
So on to a subject that has lately twisted my brain in ways I never thought possible. It all started because I wanted to get my car into the shop for routine maintenance. I thought, ok, no worries I will take in over the weekend and get it taken care of. The next thought that took place was a quick little vision of my bank balance and I thought, I can't do it, I don't have enough. All of a sudden it occurs to me that I do have a savings account and there is more than enough money to do what I need to do. Then a battle gets going about how I shouldn't spend the money, I just need to leave that money alone. Then I realized "well, isn't this why I have a savings?" I have this reserve to take care of things like car repairs. I wasn't spending the whole thing, just a small portion for car repairs.
It got me thinking about my perspective about money and how I view it. I started thinking about my overall financial picture. I realized that I am actually doing responsible, good things with my money. I have two savings, an IRA, 401K and my checking account. When I looked at that, I realized I really do have a nice amount of money saved. Now can I book a whirlwind cruise around the world? No, but can I get a small car repair done? Yes! Not only that but if something came up, I did have the resources to help take care of it. As it turns out I could have probably paid for the car repair without the savings but I was glad that I was able to pay without stressing about where the money would come from.
Do I still have some debt? Yes. Could I be doing things better? Yes. However, what I realized that I may not be able to finance a whim like a whirlwind vacation but I can take care of what needs to be taken care of and even have a little something left over to have a little fun with. In other words, my needs are provided for and even a few of my wants so why am I stressing about it?
If money is truly energy, I have a good amount of energy going on so my ongoing dilemma is how do I get what I know to be true to be a more natural mindset than the "I don't have enough" mindset that I tend to default to. This is where my brain starts to hurt! Truth is I don't know other than whenever I think of myself as not having enough, I need to remind myself that I have more than enough. Not sure if this means I will give to the panhandler but I would hope that if I do, I can see it as a illustration of the abundance I do have rather than stressing about if I have enough.
Wrapping Up
Well, that is my rather eventful week. Some insights that may or may not be profound. However, I find it a sign of growth that I am asking questions that need to be asked and trying to find answers that transcend the reality I see with the naked eye. I may find myself raiding the local CVS for every diet Pepsi on the shelf or I may just sit with my discomfort and see what happens. Who knows I just may give some money to the panhandler and find that I don't miss or notice what I give, I just give. Whatever happens I find myself filled with gratitude that I may have taken some important steps forward on my journey.
Until next time friends, Namaste.
Well I was going to give another installment continuing on with what I began last week but events of the week have changed my course as they often do.
Let's see there is my ongoing angst about giving money to panhandlers, my decision to celebrate lent by giving up soda and coffee, in addition to my realization that I did have an abundance of money to get an oil change done on my car. Now maybe these issues have nothing to do with anything but I think in some ways they are all marks of some sort of spiritual growth.
The Panhandler
My route home from work takes me under an overpass and at the end of the over pass is a stop sign and a place where the homeless panhandle for money. Sometimes months go by and no one is there and other times, there are varying groups or individuals there every day for weeks. Lately there has been this older guy with a bike. His little sign says he is a homeless veteran.
Now I have given money to panhandlers in the past. I work downtown and sometimes there is one (or several) on every street you walk. There is one street that is especially busy because it is a major high traffic area. There have been times I have been moved to give. Usually I do what everyone else does, just ignore when they ask. Some are more aggressive than others and sometimes you just give out of fear. Unfortunately, there have been people who have been hurt when they have said no to a homeless person asking for money. One time an elderly homeless guy asked for change. I had a change purse bursting at the seams so I just pulled out my change purse and emptied it in his hand. He was pleasantly surprised and I got rid of extra weight in my bag, a win-win for us both!
I am troubled though because I wonder if I am really helping them out or I am just enabling a person to continue down an already bleak path. Sometimes I wonder if I am working against some greater work if I give money and I wonder the same thing if I don't. I consider myself a somewhat compassionate, caring person so this whole issue does trouble me deeply at times.
It occurred to me today as I was out and about that maybe I need to re-frame my thoughts about this issue. Maybe I don't have to worry about if I am helping them at all or if I am part of a greater work of the universe. In other words, forget the big picture and just focus on the moment. Maybe in just that moment of giving money to a homeless man, it can be a meditation to remember that whatever wrapping we come in we are all on a journey and in the end we all wind up returning to where we came from. Maybe I can view it as a moment of mindfulness in an otherwise routine day. A reminder that we are all expressions of the Divine. After all it really isn't about the money, as I will explain later. I am coming to realize I have plenty of money.
The Great Lent Experiment
I was raised Catholic. My mother was and is a devoted Catholic. Fortunately, she never forced me to follow her into the faith and in my later teenage years I become a born again Christian. For many years I didn't really think about things like Lent. Most Evangelical Christians don't celebrate lent but in the last several years that is changing to varying degrees. Several years ago, I felt moved to attend an Ash Wednesday service and I enjoyed it so much, I began trying in small ways to observe this season. Some years I do very little and other years a lot. This year is one of my big ones.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with Lent, let me give you the basics. Lent begins with Ash Wednesday and lasts until Easter. Giving up something for lent is seen as a way of identifying with the sufferings of Christ, I guess you could say that it is a sort of active meditation. On Easter Sunday you can then go back to doing whatever it is you gave up. Simple enough unless what you decide to give up is something you really enjoy.
So this year, I had not really planned on doing anything, but on the spur of the moment I decided to do something I had been entertaining for awhile now. I decided to give up coffee and soda for lent. Yes my friends, I am walking away from my Vanilla Lattes and Diet Pepsi in the intention of giving them up for good. However, I am just focused on lent. Lent is 40 days and most of us can do something for at least 40 days. Right?...Hopefully?....Maybe??
I think there is very powerful spiritual energy related to lent. After all it is a season of reflection and hope for renewal so why not use that energy to help myself give up two things that I need to cut back on at the very least. I will never say that I will never ever have another soda or drink another coffee. However, I do not want to go back to drinking them as regularly as I did. Oddly enough, I miss the soda more than the coffee which is a bit of a surprise. The Great Lent Experiment continues, I don't think it has been a week yet so I will have to keep you posted on the progress.
On a side note, I am drinking more tea and so I went to Hina's Tea here in downtown Sacramento and asked about a tea for those transitioning from coffee. The owner was there and recommended a tea, as soon as I try it I will let you know how I like it. If you like tea please give Hina's a bit of your business. Independent business owners need all the help they can get. They have a fan page on Facebook and a website. Check them out.
Money & Perspective
So on to a subject that has lately twisted my brain in ways I never thought possible. It all started because I wanted to get my car into the shop for routine maintenance. I thought, ok, no worries I will take in over the weekend and get it taken care of. The next thought that took place was a quick little vision of my bank balance and I thought, I can't do it, I don't have enough. All of a sudden it occurs to me that I do have a savings account and there is more than enough money to do what I need to do. Then a battle gets going about how I shouldn't spend the money, I just need to leave that money alone. Then I realized "well, isn't this why I have a savings?" I have this reserve to take care of things like car repairs. I wasn't spending the whole thing, just a small portion for car repairs.
It got me thinking about my perspective about money and how I view it. I started thinking about my overall financial picture. I realized that I am actually doing responsible, good things with my money. I have two savings, an IRA, 401K and my checking account. When I looked at that, I realized I really do have a nice amount of money saved. Now can I book a whirlwind cruise around the world? No, but can I get a small car repair done? Yes! Not only that but if something came up, I did have the resources to help take care of it. As it turns out I could have probably paid for the car repair without the savings but I was glad that I was able to pay without stressing about where the money would come from.
Do I still have some debt? Yes. Could I be doing things better? Yes. However, what I realized that I may not be able to finance a whim like a whirlwind vacation but I can take care of what needs to be taken care of and even have a little something left over to have a little fun with. In other words, my needs are provided for and even a few of my wants so why am I stressing about it?
If money is truly energy, I have a good amount of energy going on so my ongoing dilemma is how do I get what I know to be true to be a more natural mindset than the "I don't have enough" mindset that I tend to default to. This is where my brain starts to hurt! Truth is I don't know other than whenever I think of myself as not having enough, I need to remind myself that I have more than enough. Not sure if this means I will give to the panhandler but I would hope that if I do, I can see it as a illustration of the abundance I do have rather than stressing about if I have enough.
Wrapping Up
Well, that is my rather eventful week. Some insights that may or may not be profound. However, I find it a sign of growth that I am asking questions that need to be asked and trying to find answers that transcend the reality I see with the naked eye. I may find myself raiding the local CVS for every diet Pepsi on the shelf or I may just sit with my discomfort and see what happens. Who knows I just may give some money to the panhandler and find that I don't miss or notice what I give, I just give. Whatever happens I find myself filled with gratitude that I may have taken some important steps forward on my journey.
Until next time friends, Namaste.
Happy Anniversary To Me!
From Word Press Blog Musings Rants and Raves 2/14/2010
Two years. Yes, two years ago this month I began what has become a journey, an adventure, a challenge, a paradigm shift. Two years ago I asked myself a seemingly simple question and actually got an answer back. I mean most of the time when I had asked myself a question it was more in the rhetorical sense, know what I mean? I was a little surprised to say the least.
At that time in my life I was frustrated with everything. Nothing was what I thought my life would be. I simply asked for help from God (keep in my mind my idea of God was the pretty traditional Judeo-Christian at the time) and asked how could I change what was wrong. The answer was "Ordering Your Private World." A book by Gordon MacDonald that I was never quite able to get through. I sighed in complete exasperation and thought to myself, "a book, I don't need another book." Then I got an explanation, "no silly, not a book, true change only comes when you change from the inside out, not the other way around."
Seemingly a duh moment but something about that inner conversation sent me on a journey that still continues to this day. It sent me exploring topics that I was drawn to (Metaphysics, Angels, Reiki, New Age, Shamanism, etc.) but had avoided because my traditional spiritual upbringing had told me that those things were strictly forbidden. However, something told me that I was not just changing my life but saving it and if I really wanted change I would have to take that path rarely taken. The path that leads to a paradigm change and true freedom.
So Happy Anniversary To Me! This blog is my anniversary present to myself. Just sharing what I have discovered, what I am challenged by and sometimes what ticks me off and whatever else floats through my brain.
Until next time, Namaste my friends.
Two years. Yes, two years ago this month I began what has become a journey, an adventure, a challenge, a paradigm shift. Two years ago I asked myself a seemingly simple question and actually got an answer back. I mean most of the time when I had asked myself a question it was more in the rhetorical sense, know what I mean? I was a little surprised to say the least.
At that time in my life I was frustrated with everything. Nothing was what I thought my life would be. I simply asked for help from God (keep in my mind my idea of God was the pretty traditional Judeo-Christian at the time) and asked how could I change what was wrong. The answer was "Ordering Your Private World." A book by Gordon MacDonald that I was never quite able to get through. I sighed in complete exasperation and thought to myself, "a book, I don't need another book." Then I got an explanation, "no silly, not a book, true change only comes when you change from the inside out, not the other way around."
Seemingly a duh moment but something about that inner conversation sent me on a journey that still continues to this day. It sent me exploring topics that I was drawn to (Metaphysics, Angels, Reiki, New Age, Shamanism, etc.) but had avoided because my traditional spiritual upbringing had told me that those things were strictly forbidden. However, something told me that I was not just changing my life but saving it and if I really wanted change I would have to take that path rarely taken. The path that leads to a paradigm change and true freedom.
So Happy Anniversary To Me! This blog is my anniversary present to myself. Just sharing what I have discovered, what I am challenged by and sometimes what ticks me off and whatever else floats through my brain.
Until next time, Namaste my friends.
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